So here’s the deal

Even After Everything , I am in love with you.

I still love you every second of every day and miss you beyond words.

I miss making you smile and saying I love you.

I miss feeling you close to me and looking at you.

I miss being able to just love you.

But the thing is, no matter how much I do love you, I have to love myself more.

I have to get over you and let you go no matter how hard it is.

I want to fall in love again, and I will.

This time it won’t be with some person or, thing, it will be with my own life.

I will love it unconditionally and without fear.

I will love it even though it’s without you.

I will create my own path to happiness, and I won’t  waste one second on regret.

Simply, I will love it the way I loved you.

Emma Blake

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Unlock the Curtains

I am not smart, I am not cool, I am not great, I am just normal. I breathe like normal, I drink like normal, I eat like normal, I almost do everything like normal. When I look back toward my life I find that I never had a friend normally. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t look carefully as someone did say to me once. That someone is actually someone I respect, and always think about every word he says I used to see him as a friend but I don’t what happened he got into a plane and flew away and that away is so so far. I wish to tell him how much I do miss him. And I wish that he forgives me if I did make him sad any time before. I want to tell him that I see his smile in the stars when I look at them. How?  When I see the stars shining in the sky I understand that he is smiling and when I don’t see a single star shining I understand that he is sad. The stars are shining today I guess he is smiling. So my dear friend I really miss you. You were my first real friend and I guess maybe the last. 

Thanks for being a good friend

لحظة صدق

قرأي الأعزاء 

حقيقة انا ليس لدي موضوع للكتابة عنه لكني في الحقيقة اريد ان اكتب لأنني احب الكتابة لانها طريقة رائعة لالتعبير عن مشاعري لكني في الحقيقة أمور بوقت عصيب لا افهم مشاعيري مطلقاً اشعر باني اريد البقاء بجانب الناس لا اريد ان ابتعد عنهم و في نفس الوقت لا اريد ان اسمع اي صوت بجانبي. اشعر أني احب الجميع و في نفس الوقت اشعر أني اكره الجميع. شعور الكره جديد بالنسبة لي لكني أخشي ان احب هذا الإحساس. اشعر انني منهزم شر هزيمة اشعر أني قد دمرت تدميراً. اشعر أني فاشل و كل من حولي يراني فاشلاً. لا اعلم ماذا أقول اشعر كأن شخصاً يذبحني بسكين بارد يمرره علي عنقي في الْيَوْمَ اكثر من مئة مرة و لكن عنقي لا تزال سليمة. اشعر بالاحباط الشديد اكره قول ذلك أعاني من الكثير من الأرق كنت دائماً مرتاح البال لا اشكو من هم شيئ كنت مجرد ان أضع رأسي علي وسادتي أنعس و انام مثل الطفل الرضيع لكن الان لا اعلم ماذا حدث ماذا طرأ ما الذي يحدث حولي. شعرت في وقت من الأوقات أني اخسر نفسي فقررت الرجوع الي نفسي أصبحت نفسي غريبة عليا. عندما انظر في المراءه لا اري نفسي بل اري مسخ يوصوبوني بالغثيان انه يجعلني في بعض الأوقات افقد الوعي. في بعض أوقات اشعر أني بحاجة الي من يقف جنبي كتف الي كتف لكني لا اجده. أبي رغم قوة ارتباطي به في كثير من الأوقات اخشاه أخشي ان اشغله بحالي. كنت قد بدأت اجد صديق و لكنه غادر الان. صديقي الان هو شيئ يخافه الأطفال و الكبار شيئ لا و لن يصدقه احد. حزنت لمغادرة صديقي لكني اتمني له كل خير تمنيت ان أقول له أني احبه لكنه أراد ان يبتعد فماذا أقول له؟! أقول له اذهب الي السلام الأبدي و أرجو ان اجد لنفسي قريباً مكاناً في هذا السلام. لأني لا اعلم ماذا يحدث لي. عندما ابحث عن نفسي من جديد اشعر كأنني ابحث عن قبرة في كومة فش لكن عندما اجد ان هنالك من وجد تلك القبرة لكي يثبت انه هنالك أمل و ان ليس هنالك شيئ يسمي مستحيل. اشعر أني سأجد نفسي قريباً.

Craziness…..

I am awake or not?? I don’t  understand what’s happening. I started to lose control over my self. I returned to hearing voices. I am losing my mind. R. get out of my head I want myself back please I beg you. I want to be alone really. It is not that I hate you but I really need my self. I admit it I am suffering depression. It can’t be cured except by myself I don’t need you. Please go away. You are increasing my status from bad to worse. I know you are trying to help. I am sorry go but I beg you please go away.

Deep Friendship

Many speak about friendship. Many people write about friendship. Many people think about friendship. This is what one of the great writers said about friendship this writer is Gibran Khalil Gibran.

Title: Friendship IXX

  1. And a youth said, “Speak to us of Friendship.” 
  2. Your friend is your needs answered. 
  3. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. 
  4. And he is your board and your fireside. 
  5. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. 
  6. When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.” 
  7. And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; 
  8. For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. 
  9. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; 
  10. For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. 
  11. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. 
  12. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. 
  13. And let your best be for your friend. 
  14. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. 
  15. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? 
  16. Seek him always with hours to live. 
  17. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
  18. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. 
  19. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Friendship has many definitions. Many things show friendship. I once asked a friend of mine “What is a thing you most value in friendship?”. His answer was “HONESTY”. One of my class mates thinks that “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things……… alone”. Others define friendship with the definition “A friend in need is a friend in deed”  but many misunderstand this simple definition of friendship they think that a person is only my friend when I need something from him and that is completely wrong. In my opinion friendship is treasure if found really in life. 

What about a friend?? A friend is a basic part of friendship. Without a friend there is no friendship. Some see a friend is a person to enjoy some time with him. But actually a friend could be everything in one’s life if really found. A good friend is life. In my opinion a good friend is someone you speak with him freely, someone totally entrusted with secrets, someone loves, respects, and cares about you and you do the same for him. A real friend is the person who makes you overcome every obstacle in your life. 

Finding a friend:

A fairly common social issue people have is that they’re not sure how to make friends and put together a social life for themselves. There are quite a few ways someone can find themselves in this situation:
They’ve moved to a new city and don’t know very many people yet.

They’ve been in a long-term relationship and have let their social life wither.

Their old friends have slowly been dropping out of the picture (moving away, busy with work or a new family, etc.) and haven’t been replaced by new ones.

A large chunk of their social circle disappeared overnight, like everyone graduated from university and most of their friends moved out of the city.

They feel like they’ve grown apart from their current friends and want to make entirely new ones.

In the past they were happy being alone a lot of the time, but now they want to be around people more often.

They never really knew how to make friends and have always wished their social lives were better.

They’ve recently made a big lifestyle change such as deciding not to drink anymore, and need to develop a new social circle that’s more suited to it.

Below are my thoughts on how to make friends. I’ll cover a basic structure first, then go into some attitudes and principles towards the whole thing that I think are important. I’ve noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below.

 

How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life
A fairly common social issue people have is that they’re not sure how to make friends and put together a social life for themselves. There are quite a few ways someone can find themselves in this situation:
They’ve moved to a new city and don’t know very many people yet.

They’ve been in a long-term relationship and have let their social life wither.

Their old friends have slowly been dropping out of the picture (moving away, busy with work or a new family, etc.) and haven’t been replaced by new ones.

A large chunk of their social circle disappeared overnight, like everyone graduated from university and most of their friends moved out of the city.

They feel like they’ve grown apart from their current friends and want to make entirely new ones.

In the past they were happy being alone a lot of the time, but now they want to be around people more often.

They never really knew how to make friends and have always wished their social lives were better.

They’ve recently made a big lifestyle change such as deciding not to drink anymore, and need to develop a new social circle that’s more suited to it.

Below are my thoughts on how to make friends. I’ll cover a basic structure first, then go into some attitudes and principles towards the whole thing that I think are important. I’ve noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below.
Bare bones guide on how to make friends
Here are the basic steps to making friends. It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on one or more of them as well.

1. Find some potential friends

To make friends you first have to find some possible candidates. There are two main ways to do this:
Draw on your current contacts
This won’t apply to people who have just moved to a new area and don’t know anyone, but often you’ll already have the seeds of a social life around you. You don’t necessarily have to go out and meet ten strangers to have one. It’s often easier to turn existing contacts into full-fledged friends than it is to meet new ones.
There are probably a handful of people you already know who could end up becoming part of a new social circle. I’m talking about people like:
Acquaintances you’re friendly with when you run into each other, but who you never see otherwise.

People at work or in your classes who you get along with.

Friends of people you know who you’ve gotten along with in the past.

Someone who has shown an interest in being your friend but you never really took up the offer.

People you very occasionally hang out with, who you could see more often.

Friends you’ve gradually lost contact with who you could get back in touch with.

For some people, cousins who are close to your age.

2.Meet some new people
Getting more out of your current relationships can go a long way, but it doesn’t always work. Sometimes you’re at a point where you need to meet entirely new people. Not having easy access to potential new friends is a big barrier for many people in creating a social circle. I go into more detail here: How To Meet People.
Overall, I’d say the easiest things to do are:
Put yourself in a situation where lots of potential friends are around, and you naturally have to get to know them through your day-to-day interactions. Work and school are the two big ones.

Meet one or two good people and then getting to know all their friends. If you hang out with fifteen people, you shouldn’t have to have met them all individually.

Get into hobbies or communities where you’ll naturally meet a lot of people, ones you already have something common with and a built-in activity/conversation opportunity to do with them.

Overall, meeting new people may require making an effort to pull out of your day-to-day routine. If most of your hobbies are solitary you might also need to add some more people-oriented ones to the mix. Also, the easiest way to naturally meet a lot of people is just to live a full, interesting life and run into lots of potential friends as a side effect.
Once you’re in a situation with some prospective friends around, you need to strike up conversations and try to get to know them. You won’t form a connection with everyone you interact with, but if you chat to enough people you’ll find you like and get along pretty well with some of them. Once you’ve done that you could say you’re now at the Friendly Acquaintance stage, or that they’re context-specific contacts (e.g., work “friends”).
If you have trouble with successfully meeting, chatting to, and getting to know people, you may want to check out the site’s sections on shyness, fears, and insecurity and on making conversation.
3.Invite potential friends to do something with you

Once you’ve met those people you seem to be clicking with, ask them to hang out and do something outside of the situation you met them in. This is the most important step in my experience. You can meet all the people you want, and they can think you’re great, but if you don’t take any actions to do something with them in the future, then you won’t form many new relationships. People will stay as the guy you talk to in class, or the girl you chat to at work in the break room.
This seems basic, but lonelier people often hit a wall here. There may be someone they joke around with at work, or chat to in one of their classes, but they won’t take the step of inviting them out and taking the relationship to the next level, and beyond the acquaintance stage.
If you’re on the shyer side, you might be a little hesitant to invite people out. While it is a little scary at first, and there is some risk of rejection, it’s fairly easy to get used to. It’s not nearly as bad as asking someone out on a date, for example.
Depending on how you met them, you may invite someone to hang out fairly quickly or wait a few weeks. For example, if a friend brings one of their buddies along to have drinks with you one day, and you spent four hours together and hit it off from the start, you may be totally comfortable asking them to hang out again right away. On the other hand, if you seem to mesh with someone at your job, but can only have short conversations with them here and there, it may be a month before you feel ready to invite them out.
If you’re not sure how to ask someone to do something with you, you could check out this article:
Examples Of Various Ways To Invite People To Hang Out
Make a habit of getting people’s contact information
It’s a good idea to get into the habit of getting people’s contact info fairly early. You may meet someone interesting, but you can never assume you’re going to see them around again anytime soon. Ask for their phone number or email address, or see if they’re on Facebook. That way if an opportunity to get together comes up, they’ll be easy to reach. Also, if they have your info, then they can get a hold of you if they want to invite you to something.
Have a basic grasp of how to make plans
To hang out with someone you’ve got to plan it. Sometimes the process is straightforward. You ask them if they want do something, they agree, and you set a time and place. At other times trying to nail down a plan can be tedious and unpredictable, especially when more than one other person is involved. It helps to accept that this is just an area where there’s always going to be an amount of uncertainty, and you can’t control everything.
If inviting people out and arranging plans all seems like a big hassle, it also probably feels that way for everyone else at times. They shouldn’t always have to step up and organize things for you. Do some of the lifting yourself when you need to.
More details here:
Advice On Making Plans With People
Do your best to accept every invitation
Of course, making your own plans is important, but if someone asks you to hang out, then that’s even better. If someone invites you to do something, then you should go. Why turn down a free chance to get out there with people? When you’ve got more friends and different options competing for your time you can be more choosy.
If you’re more of a shy or solitary person it’s easy to mull over the invitation and rationalize that it won’t be that fun and that you don’t want to go. Ignore those thoughts and go anyway. You never can be sure how fun something will be until you show up and see how it is for yourself.
Sometimes you’ll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life. You may get invited to a movie you don’t particularly want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you’re about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out. Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you’re going to have to compromise sometimes. Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances.
Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out to things if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they’re planning an event will think, “Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time really.”

4. Once you’ve got some budding friendships, keep in touch, keep hanging out, and let the relationship grow

It’s one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally. You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that’s all you need in a relationship with them, someone you’re casually friendly with and who you see every now and then. However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. You won’t have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet.
I talk about developing friendships way more in this article:
How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships
Once you know some people, build on this foundation
Once you’ve made a regular friend or two you’ve also got a good base to work from. If you’re not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away.
Sooner or later you’ll end up meeting your friend’s friends. If you hit it off with them then you can start hanging out with them as well. You could also become a member of the whole group with time. You can also continue to meet entirely new people. Having friends will make this easier as they’ll do things like invite you to parties or keep you company in places where there are new people to potentially meet.

5. Repeat the above steps more often to make more friends

If you join one new club, hit it off with three people there, and end up hanging out with two of them long term, then you’ve made two new friends. If you stop there then that’s all you’ll have. If week after week you’re coming up with new ways to meet people, and then following up and attending lots of get togethers, then you’ll have a pile of friends and acquaintances eventually.

You think what is writen above totally correct?? No it’s not, all of this is for making normal daily friendship. But to find real deep friendship it is totally different but a lot more easier in steps but harder to find. How to do that?! Just find someone who looks like you….


To my best friend….

A Flying petal From My Favorite Flower “ART”

Hopelessly in love 

  • Before I met you,
  • I felt that I couldn’t love anyone,
  • That nobody would be able to fill the void in my heart,
  • But that all changed when I met you…
  • Then I came to realize you were always on my mind.
  • You’re funny and sweet,
  • You make me laugh and smile,
  • You take away all my anger and sadness,
  • You are the most beautiful person I have ever seen,
  • More beautiful than any flower that I have ever seen,
  • You made me weak when I talked to you,
  • Then I started to write poems about you,
  • Now, I have come to realize that I am Hopelessly in love with you

 She walks in beauty 

  1. She walks in beauty, like the night
  2. Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
  3. And all that’s best of dark and bright
  4. Meet in her aspect and her eyes;
  5. Thus mellowed to that tender light
  6. Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
  7. i carry your heart with me (i carry it in
  8. my heart) i am never without it(anywhere
  9. i go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
  10. by only me is your doing, my darling)
  11. I loved you first: but afterwards your love
  12. Outsoaring mine, sang such a loftier song
  13. As drowned the friendly cooings of my dove.
  14. Which owes the other most? my love was long,
  15. And yours one moment seemed to wax more strong;
  16. I loved and guessed at you, you construed meAnd loved me for what might or might not be –
  17. Nay, weights and measures do us both a wrong.
  18. For verily love knows not ‘mine’ or ‘thine;’With separate ‘I’ and ‘thou’ free love has done,For one is both and both are one in love:
  19. Rich love knows nought of ‘thine that is not mine;’
  20. Both have the strength and both the length thereof,
  21. Both of us, of the love which makes us one.

Some Quotes 

  1. “LOVE LOOKS NOT WITH THE EYES, BUT WITH THE MIND, AND THEREFORE IS WING’D CUPID PAINTED BLIND.” 
  2. “LOVE ALL, TRUST A FEW, DO WRONG TO NONE.”
  3. “MY BOUNTY IS AS BOUNDLESS AS THE SEA, MY LOVE AS DEEP; THE MORE I GIVE TO THEE,  THE MORE I HAVE, FOR BOTH ARE INFINITE.”
  4. “Be not afraid of greatness: Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some have greatness thrust upon them.” 
  5. “Let life be short; else shame will be too long.” 
  6. “No legacy is so rich as honesty.” 
  7. “And his unkindness may defeat my life, But never taint my love.”
  8. “There is nothing either good or bad, but thinking makes it so.”
  9. “If love be blind, it best agrees with night.”
  10.  “The miserable have no other medicine, but only hope.”

كلمة احبك تعني الكثير 

  • كلمة لست أدري كيف أقولها
  •  لكنني أدركت أني قائلها نفسي تهواكي و تهوى لقياكي 
  • تحن لكي و تنجذب من أعماقها كأني وثني للوثن عابد مسحور 
  • أعشق ضحكاتها أهيم في حركاتها و سكناته أهيم فيها و أعشق ذاتها 
  • لست في الحب ندا لها ولكنني هائم في حبها متيم ولهان سكران بها قد مرضت بها
  • خرقتي كل قانون و قاعدة وضعتهاأنا
  •  احبك و لا اعلم السبب 

العاشق المجنون 

انت الشمس التي تنير نهاري

انت القمر الذي ينير ليلي 

انت الأنوار التي تنير دربي 

كم اتمني ان لا اري غيرك في حياتي

انت الشخص الذي تمنيته طوال حياتي

كيف لي ان لا ابقي بجانبكي

انت لا يوجد لك مثيل و لن يوجد في هذه الحياة

قلبكي ينير من كثرة الحب الذي موجود بداخله

سأحزن الي الأبد إذا فارقتني

اخاف جداً علي حزنك 

و كم اتمني ان أكون دائماً مصدر بهجتك و سعادتك

اعشق ضحكاتك المنيرة التي تهز قلبي 

اعشق صوتكي الرنان الذي يذكرني بصوت العصافير المزقزقة

صباحالكن بالعكس صوتك اجمل منهم

اقتنع بكل رأي تقولينه و أصدقه 

فإذن ماذا سيفعل قلب العاشق بدون ان يجد ما يعشقه

الخيل و اليل و البيدأ تعرفني 

والسيف و الرمح و القرطاس و القلم 

اسأليهم عني سيقولو لكي أني امرؤ عاشق لكل جميل في الحياة

اعشق سماء الليل اتي تسطع فيها النجوم 

لكني احزن عندما لا اري تلك النجوم 

لكني عندما انظر في عينيك اري تلك نجوم تسطع

حتي اكثر من نجوم السماء 

اعشق نور الشمس الذي ينير الصباح 

لكنه قد يختفي في يوم ملبد بالغيوم

لكن نور وجهك أقوي بكثير من نور الشمس

اعشق المطر و ما يأتي بعده من خير 

لكني اخاف ان أحزنك فيتحول المطر الي وابل يدمر كل شيء 

    PERSONALITY….

    What is personality? A personality is the thing that defines a person, his acts, his thoughts , and everything about him. Personality is just a big, huge term that has many meanings under it. You can know a person’s personality from his actions, and his words. But how does a person get his personality? A person may go through ups and downs through out his life and these ups and downs help reshape his personality. For instance a person may love someone a decide a decide to be explicit and tell that someone about his love but when that someone just embarrass him that my change his personality from a loving one into a misanthropic one a person who hates everyone, other people may change their personalities for people to like them but that is never true if a person has a personality he should never change except if he finds a blemish in his personality.

    Personality has many definitions everyone in the world has his own definition for this very important term which actually may define a person’s life. What was stated above is my own definition, but in philosophy personality has a more general definition which is “Personality is nothing more than a person’s idea about how to live”. In my opinion this definition is just so general that if understood wrong it would be interpreted that for example the way you eat is part of your personality but ofcourse that isn’t what is meant by how to live. 

    “PERSONALITY is not an easy word to understand it is a great expression that has many things under it” that what was said by one of the greatest philosophers of all time, Socrates.

    إليّ الذي يعشقه قلبي 

    عزيزتي ر.

            اعلم أنكي لن تقرأي هذا بل و قد اكاد اجزم لكن انا في الحقيقة اريد ان أقول لكي أني حقاً احبك و أعشقك لكن انت مجرد اكبر وهم وهمت نفسي به انت لست حقيقة. لكن انا أردت ان لا اكذب عليكي اكثر من هذا الوقت انا فعلاً أتهرب متك احوال في كثير من الوقت ان انسي كل ما شعرت به اتجاهك في يوم من الأيام. لماذا هذا يحدث؟ انا فقط لا اعلم لكن كل ما اعرفه أني وجدت الحب الموجود بيني و بينك في الحقيقة و  شعوره جميل لدرجة لا توصف. 

    اعلم انك قد تحزن من ما أقول لكن في الحقيقة هذا كل ما لدي لكي أقوله و الحقيقة أني لا أريدك ان تحزني لان حزنك يحزنني.

    و سامحيني من قلبك  

    هذا كل ما اتمناه

    To My Self

    I have been writing this since so long. Why did it take that long? It took that long because each time I started writing it I didn’t have anything to write about. EXACTLY like this time. But maybe I decided to write it and complete it this time so that I could get in to something new. But what is different this time from all its precedents is that I am feeling super free. Because I just broke through all the barriers I built since a millennia. How did I do that? I just don’t know. All what I know is that I stood in front of a mirror and looked at myself is this what you want to be like?? My answer was “HELL NO” so I decided to change I decided to clean up and throw it away each sand particle I saw on myself. Because I felt that I started to lose my identity. My identity is the thing that makes me myself. My identity is the thing that defines me. My identity is everything I have and should keep safe even from my own self. Why did I broke these barriers? Because I felt they were starting to choke me destroying all the dreams in front of me. They made me feel as if I was an extremely thirsty traveler who sees the mirage as water but every time I think I was neer the water I didn’t find anything. What did these barriers do is that they made me see my future as vague as an empty glass of water when seen from away for a thirsty person. So I decided to break these barriers and admit that I broke these barriers and nothing will never ever keep me trapped inside it again. Why did I write all of this? Just to say a single thing “never change for people be yourself and never say never”


    But first like yourself.

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