My Little Secret!!

I woke up a bit early or really I suffer a problem I hardly sleep at night. And I was feeling bored so I decided to write because this is the thing that breaks my bore. Because it is something I enjoy. For me writing is the best thing in the world because it gives me the ability to calm and be with myself and go to another world. A place that is so far no one could ever imagine. Somewhere I feel my self doing everything I wish to do. It is not dream land because I am totally awake and I feel everything. I enjoy writing. I have always loved reading. I loved to read what is written by Charles Dickens, William Shekspear, William Folknor, and many many more. I always wondered what made them write. When I started writing I understood. They wrote because it was something made them unique. They were casted away by the society and that made them look for something so that they find themselves in and that what made them write and their writings made them achieve everyone’s love and respect to this day. People consider them unsocial why? Just because they devoted their life for something they love and everyone will remember them for. Writing is like magic it treats almost every kind of pain. Feeling sad or happy I write because I throw out my feelings on the paper. The paper never gets bored from me neither do I get bored from her(The paper). Don’t be surprised I did refer to the paper with her because I see the paper a human being because it understands me and takes all my troubles and solves them all without my feeling. Writing isn’t a normal hobby it is a whole life. A life that I always wished to have but never found until I started writing.


WRITING IS MY MAGIC NO ONE WILL EVER UNDERSTAND…..

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Life…

Living life is a challenge. Because life is not easy at all. It is the hardest thing ever. You go through a million of  bumps. All of these bumps cause you injuries but some a bearable and others are not bearable at all. Some end just as the circumstances you are passing ends and some stay for life time even if you try to forget them. Life has terms you have to live according to them in order to survive. because if you don’t follow them your wound will be more powerful.

But first of all do you what do I mean by terms?

When I say terms I mean rules you have to follow. The terms of life are never easy. They are the harshest rules you’ll ever see in your whole life. Who created those terms? Really  I don’t know. And I don’t care about that. It is not GOD by the way who I mean of course. Because these terms were created by a tyrant who is heartless. In fact these terms were created by no one. These terms should be in each one’s mind when treating today’s mankind. Because if you don’t you’ll suffer a lot.

The most important of these terms and the one’s you should really follow:

  1. Love is totally FORBIDDEN
  2. Never trust any one
  3. Never allow people to see you weak
  4. Don’t care about anyone but yourself
  5. Never forgive
  6. Never look back at the past

As you see these terms are not easy for a person with a heart. So it can be concluded that if you are a person with a heart in this life you’ll be crushed easily and without mercy so to stand and not get crushed you have to kill your heart before someone does. Because if you kill your heart yourself you will still have a part of it but if some one kills your heart you heart will be devastated and you will be shattered apart losing everything. In fact I don’t live according to these terms because I don’t have the enough guts to kill my heart because every time I try to do that I feel frightened.

So here’s the deal

Even After Everything , I am in love with you.

I still love you every second of every day and miss you beyond words.

I miss making you smile and saying I love you.

I miss feeling you close to me and looking at you.

I miss being able to just love you.

But the thing is, no matter how much I do love you, I have to love myself more.

I have to get over you and let you go no matter how hard it is.

I want to fall in love again, and I will.

This time it won’t be with some person or, thing, it will be with my own life.

I will love it unconditionally and without fear.

I will love it even though it’s without you.

I will create my own path to happiness, and I won’t  waste one second on regret.

Simply, I will love it the way I loved you.

Emma Blake

Unlock the Curtains

I am not smart, I am not cool, I am not great, I am just normal. I breathe like normal, I drink like normal, I eat like normal, I almost do everything like normal. When I look back toward my life I find that I never had a friend normally. Why? I don’t know. Maybe I didn’t look carefully as someone did say to me once. That someone is actually someone I respect, and always think about every word he says I used to see him as a friend but I don’t what happened he got into a plane and flew away and that away is so so far. I wish to tell him how much I do miss him. And I wish that he forgives me if I did make him sad any time before. I want to tell him that I see his smile in the stars when I look at them. How?  When I see the stars shining in the sky I understand that he is smiling and when I don’t see a single star shining I understand that he is sad. The stars are shining today I guess he is smiling. So my dear friend I really miss you. You were my first real friend and I guess maybe the last. 

Thanks for being a good friend

ما الذي يحدث حولنا!!!

عالمنا اصبح عالم شر، ما الذي يحدث انا أسف أني سأتطرق الي موضوع يحزن كل من له قلب. فأرجو ان تسامحونني و ان تتقبلو كل ما أقول. يوميا الف من الناس يموتون اما قتلا و اما جوعا. لكن هل فكر اخد لما ينوي هاؤلا كل يوم بعض يموتون و هم يدافعون عن ارضهم و عرضهم. في الغالب انا لا احب السياسة لانها لعبة قذرة لا يلعبها الا من ليس له قلب او رحمة او شفقة. لكن هذا الموضوع أبكاني و فطر قلبي عندما رأيت ما رأيت. الشام بلد ارض المحشر و الارض المباركة بعد مكة. انها تتساقط لماذا؟؟ فقط لان انتشر الظلم فيها بدل ما ان يساعد الغني الفقير أصبحت الغني يدمر الفقير. اصبح عالمنا عالم مليئ بالظلم. من كثرة الظلم الموجود في العالم اصبح الناس يَرَوْن ما يحدث في الشام امر عادي جداً و بعض الناس لا يحزنو عندما يرو ما يحدث بل للعكس يفرحو. أطفال سوريا، شباب فلسطين كل هاؤلأ يموتون يوم بعد الثاني. أين وحدة العرب و الدين. عدنا الي ايّام الجاهلية بل ايّام الجاهلية كانت أفضل مما نحن عليه الْيَوْمَ. حسبنا الله و نعم الوكيل اللهم مانت حسبي و انت وكيلي في الظالم يا رب العالمين. لقد قررت ان اكتب عن هذا الموضوع المحزن فقط لكي اشفي غليلي. سامحيني يالشام علي تأخري عن كتابة هذا الموضوع. 

ارحموا الشششششااااام ما الذي تنتظرونه

I’ll Miss You

Hey Santa when will you come?! I am waiting for you. It is Christmas eve. I am waiting for your gifts. Oh wait a second you are not real just as a person I used to know. That person left me alone right now thank god. But the difference is that that imaginary person was created by me. I loved that person but he was about to destroy my life he did destroy a part of me. Of course he didn’t mean it. But it was my mistake to give him the chance to do that . And that is what makes me feel really bad. I forgive him but for now I want to be away from him because I don’t want to lose any more. So I wish he forgives me.


Didticated to a person I am sure he will never read it R……

لحظة صدق

قرأي الأعزاء 

حقيقة انا ليس لدي موضوع للكتابة عنه لكني في الحقيقة اريد ان اكتب لأنني احب الكتابة لانها طريقة رائعة لالتعبير عن مشاعري لكني في الحقيقة أمور بوقت عصيب لا افهم مشاعيري مطلقاً اشعر باني اريد البقاء بجانب الناس لا اريد ان ابتعد عنهم و في نفس الوقت لا اريد ان اسمع اي صوت بجانبي. اشعر أني احب الجميع و في نفس الوقت اشعر أني اكره الجميع. شعور الكره جديد بالنسبة لي لكني أخشي ان احب هذا الإحساس. اشعر انني منهزم شر هزيمة اشعر أني قد دمرت تدميراً. اشعر أني فاشل و كل من حولي يراني فاشلاً. لا اعلم ماذا أقول اشعر كأن شخصاً يذبحني بسكين بارد يمرره علي عنقي في الْيَوْمَ اكثر من مئة مرة و لكن عنقي لا تزال سليمة. اشعر بالاحباط الشديد اكره قول ذلك أعاني من الكثير من الأرق كنت دائماً مرتاح البال لا اشكو من هم شيئ كنت مجرد ان أضع رأسي علي وسادتي أنعس و انام مثل الطفل الرضيع لكن الان لا اعلم ماذا حدث ماذا طرأ ما الذي يحدث حولي. شعرت في وقت من الأوقات أني اخسر نفسي فقررت الرجوع الي نفسي أصبحت نفسي غريبة عليا. عندما انظر في المراءه لا اري نفسي بل اري مسخ يوصوبوني بالغثيان انه يجعلني في بعض الأوقات افقد الوعي. في بعض أوقات اشعر أني بحاجة الي من يقف جنبي كتف الي كتف لكني لا اجده. أبي رغم قوة ارتباطي به في كثير من الأوقات اخشاه أخشي ان اشغله بحالي. كنت قد بدأت اجد صديق و لكنه غادر الان. صديقي الان هو شيئ يخافه الأطفال و الكبار شيئ لا و لن يصدقه احد. حزنت لمغادرة صديقي لكني اتمني له كل خير تمنيت ان أقول له أني احبه لكنه أراد ان يبتعد فماذا أقول له؟! أقول له اذهب الي السلام الأبدي و أرجو ان اجد لنفسي قريباً مكاناً في هذا السلام. لأني لا اعلم ماذا يحدث لي. عندما ابحث عن نفسي من جديد اشعر كأنني ابحث عن قبرة في كومة فش لكن عندما اجد ان هنالك من وجد تلك القبرة لكي يثبت انه هنالك أمل و ان ليس هنالك شيئ يسمي مستحيل. اشعر أني سأجد نفسي قريباً.

Craziness…..

I am awake or not?? I don’t  understand what’s happening. I started to lose control over my self. I returned to hearing voices. I am losing my mind. R. get out of my head I want myself back please I beg you. I want to be alone really. It is not that I hate you but I really need my self. I admit it I am suffering depression. It can’t be cured except by myself I don’t need you. Please go away. You are increasing my status from bad to worse. I know you are trying to help. I am sorry go but I beg you please go away.

Deep Friendship

Many speak about friendship. Many people write about friendship. Many people think about friendship. This is what one of the great writers said about friendship this writer is Gibran Khalil Gibran.

Title: Friendship IXX

  1. And a youth said, “Speak to us of Friendship.” 
  2. Your friend is your needs answered. 
  3. He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving. 
  4. And he is your board and your fireside. 
  5. For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace. 
  6. When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.” 
  7. And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart; 
  8. For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed. 
  9. When you part from your friend, you grieve not; 
  10. For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain. 
  11. And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit. 
  12. For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught. 
  13. And let your best be for your friend. 
  14. If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also. 
  15. For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill? 
  16. Seek him always with hours to live. 
  17. For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.
  18. And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing of pleasures. 
  19. For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

Friendship has many definitions. Many things show friendship. I once asked a friend of mine “What is a thing you most value in friendship?”. His answer was “HONESTY”. One of my class mates thinks that “Good friends don’t let you do stupid things……… alone”. Others define friendship with the definition “A friend in need is a friend in deed”  but many misunderstand this simple definition of friendship they think that a person is only my friend when I need something from him and that is completely wrong. In my opinion friendship is treasure if found really in life. 

What about a friend?? A friend is a basic part of friendship. Without a friend there is no friendship. Some see a friend is a person to enjoy some time with him. But actually a friend could be everything in one’s life if really found. A good friend is life. In my opinion a good friend is someone you speak with him freely, someone totally entrusted with secrets, someone loves, respects, and cares about you and you do the same for him. A real friend is the person who makes you overcome every obstacle in your life. 

Finding a friend:

A fairly common social issue people have is that they’re not sure how to make friends and put together a social life for themselves. There are quite a few ways someone can find themselves in this situation:
They’ve moved to a new city and don’t know very many people yet.

They’ve been in a long-term relationship and have let their social life wither.

Their old friends have slowly been dropping out of the picture (moving away, busy with work or a new family, etc.) and haven’t been replaced by new ones.

A large chunk of their social circle disappeared overnight, like everyone graduated from university and most of their friends moved out of the city.

They feel like they’ve grown apart from their current friends and want to make entirely new ones.

In the past they were happy being alone a lot of the time, but now they want to be around people more often.

They never really knew how to make friends and have always wished their social lives were better.

They’ve recently made a big lifestyle change such as deciding not to drink anymore, and need to develop a new social circle that’s more suited to it.

Below are my thoughts on how to make friends. I’ll cover a basic structure first, then go into some attitudes and principles towards the whole thing that I think are important. I’ve noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below.

 

How to Make Friends And Get a Social Life
A fairly common social issue people have is that they’re not sure how to make friends and put together a social life for themselves. There are quite a few ways someone can find themselves in this situation:
They’ve moved to a new city and don’t know very many people yet.

They’ve been in a long-term relationship and have let their social life wither.

Their old friends have slowly been dropping out of the picture (moving away, busy with work or a new family, etc.) and haven’t been replaced by new ones.

A large chunk of their social circle disappeared overnight, like everyone graduated from university and most of their friends moved out of the city.

They feel like they’ve grown apart from their current friends and want to make entirely new ones.

In the past they were happy being alone a lot of the time, but now they want to be around people more often.

They never really knew how to make friends and have always wished their social lives were better.

They’ve recently made a big lifestyle change such as deciding not to drink anymore, and need to develop a new social circle that’s more suited to it.

Below are my thoughts on how to make friends. I’ll cover a basic structure first, then go into some attitudes and principles towards the whole thing that I think are important. I’ve noticed people who are already good at making friends naturally tend to do most of the things I outline below.
Bare bones guide on how to make friends
Here are the basic steps to making friends. It seems simplistic, but there can be a lot to each point. People who struggle with their social lives often stumble on one or more of them as well.

1. Find some potential friends

To make friends you first have to find some possible candidates. There are two main ways to do this:
Draw on your current contacts
This won’t apply to people who have just moved to a new area and don’t know anyone, but often you’ll already have the seeds of a social life around you. You don’t necessarily have to go out and meet ten strangers to have one. It’s often easier to turn existing contacts into full-fledged friends than it is to meet new ones.
There are probably a handful of people you already know who could end up becoming part of a new social circle. I’m talking about people like:
Acquaintances you’re friendly with when you run into each other, but who you never see otherwise.

People at work or in your classes who you get along with.

Friends of people you know who you’ve gotten along with in the past.

Someone who has shown an interest in being your friend but you never really took up the offer.

People you very occasionally hang out with, who you could see more often.

Friends you’ve gradually lost contact with who you could get back in touch with.

For some people, cousins who are close to your age.

2.Meet some new people
Getting more out of your current relationships can go a long way, but it doesn’t always work. Sometimes you’re at a point where you need to meet entirely new people. Not having easy access to potential new friends is a big barrier for many people in creating a social circle. I go into more detail here: How To Meet People.
Overall, I’d say the easiest things to do are:
Put yourself in a situation where lots of potential friends are around, and you naturally have to get to know them through your day-to-day interactions. Work and school are the two big ones.

Meet one or two good people and then getting to know all their friends. If you hang out with fifteen people, you shouldn’t have to have met them all individually.

Get into hobbies or communities where you’ll naturally meet a lot of people, ones you already have something common with and a built-in activity/conversation opportunity to do with them.

Overall, meeting new people may require making an effort to pull out of your day-to-day routine. If most of your hobbies are solitary you might also need to add some more people-oriented ones to the mix. Also, the easiest way to naturally meet a lot of people is just to live a full, interesting life and run into lots of potential friends as a side effect.
Once you’re in a situation with some prospective friends around, you need to strike up conversations and try to get to know them. You won’t form a connection with everyone you interact with, but if you chat to enough people you’ll find you like and get along pretty well with some of them. Once you’ve done that you could say you’re now at the Friendly Acquaintance stage, or that they’re context-specific contacts (e.g., work “friends”).
If you have trouble with successfully meeting, chatting to, and getting to know people, you may want to check out the site’s sections on shyness, fears, and insecurity and on making conversation.
3.Invite potential friends to do something with you

Once you’ve met those people you seem to be clicking with, ask them to hang out and do something outside of the situation you met them in. This is the most important step in my experience. You can meet all the people you want, and they can think you’re great, but if you don’t take any actions to do something with them in the future, then you won’t form many new relationships. People will stay as the guy you talk to in class, or the girl you chat to at work in the break room.
This seems basic, but lonelier people often hit a wall here. There may be someone they joke around with at work, or chat to in one of their classes, but they won’t take the step of inviting them out and taking the relationship to the next level, and beyond the acquaintance stage.
If you’re on the shyer side, you might be a little hesitant to invite people out. While it is a little scary at first, and there is some risk of rejection, it’s fairly easy to get used to. It’s not nearly as bad as asking someone out on a date, for example.
Depending on how you met them, you may invite someone to hang out fairly quickly or wait a few weeks. For example, if a friend brings one of their buddies along to have drinks with you one day, and you spent four hours together and hit it off from the start, you may be totally comfortable asking them to hang out again right away. On the other hand, if you seem to mesh with someone at your job, but can only have short conversations with them here and there, it may be a month before you feel ready to invite them out.
If you’re not sure how to ask someone to do something with you, you could check out this article:
Examples Of Various Ways To Invite People To Hang Out
Make a habit of getting people’s contact information
It’s a good idea to get into the habit of getting people’s contact info fairly early. You may meet someone interesting, but you can never assume you’re going to see them around again anytime soon. Ask for their phone number or email address, or see if they’re on Facebook. That way if an opportunity to get together comes up, they’ll be easy to reach. Also, if they have your info, then they can get a hold of you if they want to invite you to something.
Have a basic grasp of how to make plans
To hang out with someone you’ve got to plan it. Sometimes the process is straightforward. You ask them if they want do something, they agree, and you set a time and place. At other times trying to nail down a plan can be tedious and unpredictable, especially when more than one other person is involved. It helps to accept that this is just an area where there’s always going to be an amount of uncertainty, and you can’t control everything.
If inviting people out and arranging plans all seems like a big hassle, it also probably feels that way for everyone else at times. They shouldn’t always have to step up and organize things for you. Do some of the lifting yourself when you need to.
More details here:
Advice On Making Plans With People
Do your best to accept every invitation
Of course, making your own plans is important, but if someone asks you to hang out, then that’s even better. If someone invites you to do something, then you should go. Why turn down a free chance to get out there with people? When you’ve got more friends and different options competing for your time you can be more choosy.
If you’re more of a shy or solitary person it’s easy to mull over the invitation and rationalize that it won’t be that fun and that you don’t want to go. Ignore those thoughts and go anyway. You never can be sure how fun something will be until you show up and see how it is for yourself.
Sometimes you’ll have to inconvenience yourself for the sake of your social life. You may get invited to a movie you don’t particularly want to see, or someone might call you up on Friday evening as you’re about to go to bed, asking if you want to go out. Whenever you have two or more people in the equation, you’re going to have to compromise sometimes. Again, just being out there outweighs these minor annoyances.
Another thing to consider is that many people will stop inviting someone out to things if they decline too often. They may have nothing against the person, but the next time they’re planning an event will think, “Paul never comes out when I ask him, so no point in letting him know this time really.”

4. Once you’ve got some budding friendships, keep in touch, keep hanging out, and let the relationship grow

It’s one thing to hang out with someone once, or only occasionally. You could consider them a friend of sorts at that point. For that particular person maybe that’s all you need in a relationship with them, someone you’re casually friendly with and who you see every now and then. However, for someone to become a closer, more regular friend you need hang out fairly often, keep in touch, enjoy good times together, and get to know each other on a deeper level. You won’t have the compatibility to do this with everyone, but over time you should be able to build a tighter relationship with some of the people you meet.
I talk about developing friendships way more in this article:
How To Grow And Deepen New Friendships
Once you know some people, build on this foundation
Once you’ve made a regular friend or two you’ve also got a good base to work from. If you’re not super social in nature, one or two good buddies may be all you need to be happy. At the very least, if you were feeling lonely and desperate before, having a relationship or two should be enough to take those feelings away.
Sooner or later you’ll end up meeting your friend’s friends. If you hit it off with them then you can start hanging out with them as well. You could also become a member of the whole group with time. You can also continue to meet entirely new people. Having friends will make this easier as they’ll do things like invite you to parties or keep you company in places where there are new people to potentially meet.

5. Repeat the above steps more often to make more friends

If you join one new club, hit it off with three people there, and end up hanging out with two of them long term, then you’ve made two new friends. If you stop there then that’s all you’ll have. If week after week you’re coming up with new ways to meet people, and then following up and attending lots of get togethers, then you’ll have a pile of friends and acquaintances eventually.

You think what is writen above totally correct?? No it’s not, all of this is for making normal daily friendship. But to find real deep friendship it is totally different but a lot more easier in steps but harder to find. How to do that?! Just find someone who looks like you….


To my best friend….

Sorry…

“I’m not perfect, I make mistakes, I hurt people, but when I say sorry, I mean it.” But this word is one of the hardest words to say. Apologizing does not always mean that you’re wrong and the other person is right. It just means that you value the person you apologize to more than your ego. When I say sorry I say it because I hate making people sad or angry from me. I wish every one around me forgive me. Sometimes I feel I will die so I decide I wish everyone around me to forgive me specially my close ones. I want everyone to forgive me even if I don’t know or remeber what I did to him. I hate making people sad, because that saddens me, but I wish everyone I made him sad to forgive from all his heart…

Please everyone forgive me…